Below are the comments left from the Original Memorial Website for Merilyn that was live from August of 1998 to 2008. I was able to save the content from that site before it vanished into cyber space. I am so grateful for all the comments and have continued to receive emails over the years from those who have been touched by the story of my Mom’s conscious death. So I am excited to now have a way for people to again leave their comments. Please scroll all the way to the bottom if you would like to leave your own entry. This website is being recreated on the anniversary of what would have been my Mom’s 78th birthday, 13 years after her death.
Note: all the comments that are to and from Carolyn are me Cayelin. I changed my name in 2006. More about that here.
Date: 26 Aug 1998
Merilyn, Dearest Magdalene Sister, you are part of me and I am part of you, and that will never change. Thank you for continuing to connect with us, your Magdalene Circle, from the other side of the veil through the Miracle of the Kwan Yin statue. We love you and will hold your energy in our presence each time we gather. Sereena
Date: 26 Aug 1998
As a graduate of the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross death and dying program at Northern New Mexico Community College in El Rito, N.M., and having worked several years in the funeral industry doing aftercare and prearrangement, I was touched and moved, to say the least, by the story of Marilyn’s cremation. I thank her daughter so much for sharing it with me. (I also am an astrologer and therefore am on the email list). Elizabeth MacIlhaney, tenzin@flash.net, Albuquerque, N.M. P.S. A website for your mother, what a wonderful creative memorial!
Date: 26 Aug 1998
Dear Carolyn & Jeff: Thank you for responding to my email. You’ll receive a letter soon to Merilyn that says “please forward,” but I’ll just forward good thoughts to her. I had no clue that she had cancer and certainly wish I could have done something…or can still do something…to honor her memory. I went through the writing program at MIU/MUM with her and spent many wonderful hours talking, walking and traveling with her, both at MIU and on vacations in the Southwest and here in Alaska. She was like a big sister to me, or maybe even a pseudo mom. She’s probably kicking up her heels on some high level spiritual plane right now, with Bob at her side. It’s wonderful that she had all of you with her to make her transition more blessed. I thought of her so strongly last week that I emailed her, tried telephoning, and dropped a letter in the mail. We definitely did some sort of communicating. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to honor her memory, such as donations to a fund/group, etc.
Date: 27 Aug 1998
Death, like birth, is an emergence. It is akin to a flower opening. Nearly impossible to tell exactly when the bud starts to become the blossom. Or when the seed-laden blossom begins to burst and release its bounty. sloane
Date: 27 Aug 1998
Death is inevitable and comes whether we are ready for it or not. This is truly an inspiring story that brings the miracle of death to life. Thank you for all the work you have put into this beautiful site and thank you for sharing so profoundly this process so freely. I see another miracle here and that is the love you have and share with so many. Meg
Date: 30 Aug 1998
Merilyn is my grandmother, my friend, my mentor, and even though she has left us, her spirit remains in my heart and continues to guide me on my journey. I will be forever grateful for her, and my grandfather’s undying inspiration. I Love You! hg
Date: 31 Aug 1998
Hi Grandma, This is Jeremy, your youngest grandson. I wonder how this computer writes to you in heaven? I hope you are having a good time. Thank you for making me french toast! I love you, Jeremy
Date: 01 Sep 1998
Dear One, There is nothing that can be more clear from all that was shared here, that we are all within the Eternal, whether dancing or not. With or without form, subtle or gross, All Inclusive In That. Thanks be to Almighty God for the Grace that awakened those of us to the recognition of this Absolute Truth, and the willingness and urge to share with others.
Dear Merilyn, though I did not know you in form, I am truly grateful for your life lived within That Absolute Truth and That of your loved ones. I congratulate you all in the appearance of earthly life well lived, in Love and in Service to the ever deepening recognition of the Truth of who we are Presently, and Forever. You are all in my heart… All Love, J. Paulette Sawyers If I may be of any service… am@greenvillenc.com
Date: 01 Sep 1998
Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful and affirming story.
Date: 01 Sep 1998
I am writing to bless you and your Divine Love for your Mother on Earth. I am very well blessed to be a witness of your strength and your beauty in the formation of a new era. My love I send to you through the airways and by the gift of the Holy Mother of Creation. Be well and know that you are loved and supported. As always …
Date: 01 Sep 1998
Dearest Carolyn, On the 3 day honoring of your mother’s transition, at 4:45 pm, I lit a bright rose colored candle in honor of her and of the heart work her death has offered to all of us, her Priestess and Magdalene Sisters. I felt myself swept into spontaneous prayer for her and her opening into a new form of existence, praying for her enlightenment and joy. I felt her receptive presence in a very profound way, and experienced the luminosity of her Spirit. Her presence felt and continues to feel very alive for me. So, I am not at all surprised to receive your message about the kwan yin “weeping” into the dragon. I send you love and support as you move through this transition in your own life and all the many gifts and challenges it offers you. I thank you for your clarity in sharing your journey, your willingness to do so is a gift to me. Love, J
Date: 01 Sep 1998
Well, gee whiz, Merilyn. Such a quick getaway. I often did underestimate you.
At first it was hard not to, standing there in the looming shadow of Bob Massey. But as the years rolled by, as we followed each other around from Texas to Hawaii to Washington to Fairfield and even West Virginia, I began to see your gentle strength, the subtle way you neck reined that onry stallion like those horses you used to talk about from your early days at the Red Rocks. I always wanted to go there with you, and I always thought I’d be visiting you in Tucson.
Anyway, I learned there was more to that small, seemingly quiet person than met the eye. You could croon all those funky old songs in one breath and devoutly chant the puja in another. You were equally conversant with the latest jive of your grandkids as you were the ancient wisdom of the Vedas. You were a devoted wife and mother of two wonderful girls, the one of whom I know is reason enough to have lived. You could whip up a mean mushroom stew, churn out good promotional copy about all those magical things you and Bob cooked up, listen as a true friend and dole out a lot of practical wisdom. I am so grateful to you for teaching me the art of accepting things — and people– the way they are… or at least trying to. (I’m not at your level yet.) And most of all, as I told you again and again, there was never a better mermaid friend. I will never forget the day we spent all of playing in the surf at Mauna Kea Beach.
And now you’ve gone and created this amazing conscious death complete with miracles. I can hear the electric peace in the voices of Carolyn and Jeff, who created this marvelous epitaph for you. I am so grateful to them for taking such good care of my good friend. (And by the way, you were really a knockout.) I’m so proud to have been one of the characters in your play.
You were and I hope still are a friend of mine, Merilyn Massey. Such a connection — which defied all logic in the first place — can never be broken. Surely we share one mind, one heart and one sense of humor. Please forgive us for drifting away in the last couple of years. I always thought we’d build that community together. Maybe you will put in your 2 cents from the other side.
God Bless You. You deserve the very best. You are probably already running around the Universe making things better. I hope you’re having fun. In fact I just heard that little voice of yours say “Oh, I’m having a ball.” So be it. All Love to You and Bob, Mara
P.S. Sam says he loves you. And Randall and I spent our lunch hour today talking about all the happy and enlightening times the four of us had together… breakfast at Jim’s, building Radiance, your fabulous house boat on Lake Travis, loving Todd like another grandchild, Sammy’s birth, courses in D.C. and Fairfield, digging for crystals in Arkansas, welcoming us to Hawaii, rescuing us from the hurricane, your house in Puna, beaches and volcanoes, singing and raking leaves in West Virginia, introducing us to radionics, 3-D posters, infinite energy, books, magnets, brain tuners, healing modalities, etc. etc. etc.
Thank you so much for all you did to transform our lives. You guys are awesome. If you ever want a place to visit in the third dimension, you’re most welcome. Or, more likely, since we often followed you around the planet, you’ll lure us to the new wonderful place you are. Something wonderful to look forward to. You’re irresistible. XXXX
Dear Merilyn, You and Bob were and really are family to us… We were and are as close as we could be without being blood relatives….During our time together, first in Texas, then in Richland, Iowa, then in Hawaii and finally back in West Virginia for a bit, we were a team. When we would get together and talk and plan we would create a wave of energy so positive that we were invincible. Unstoppable. Infectious. Delightful. Tantalizing. A team that will always hold a special place in my heart….. So many memories.
So many things that we did together. Our energy was so cohesive, so inspirational….. You guys were often the leaders, the ones who went first. First you went to Richland after we were together in Austin. Then to Hawaii, you were first to go. And we did follow. Yes we did follow. And now you are the first to go again. But this time the journey is to the other side. To the place that we can’t call or write or come for a visit, or meet at Jim’s for breakfast. The final journey…. at least this time around. Yes, we do miss you. Realizing that we can’t call and hear your voices. Why does death appear to be so final? Why the final end. The final departure… at least for now.
So dear, dear friends until we meet again, and I know that we will meet again – I know that- let us always remember and cherish the love that we have for each other. Remember all the good, and wonderful times we spent together. You were my teachers, my guides, my best friends as we were for you….. How do you say good bye to your best friends? How do you say so long until we meet again…. either here in this realm- in new bodies or on the other side or perhaps even in between, in that transcendental magical reality that is the basis of all existence. That is where we will find you and see you and reach for you… Because we know that you are there, even now, waiting for us to get it, to feel it, to know it , that you are always there and have always been there. Waiting, looking, hoping that we can see, feel, know that you are there and have always been there and will always be there eternally. Ready to connect. Yes… I feel you … …. now, rejoicing at the recognition. Knowing that all we need to do is close our eyes and we can feel you. Thank you dear friends…. Thank you for always being there for us. And for me.
You always were, particularly helpful during times of difficulty. We know of those times. The worst of times became the best of times because of you and your friendship. Forgive me for those times when I was not as good a friend as I wanted to be and am becoming. For me and for you … For all of us….. And do not wait up for us, for we each have our own journey ahead of us. But I now know that we will end up together again after we each have done our work. …Until then we will remember that we are always there for each other, just as you each have always been there for each other and for me. Because that is what really good friends do for each other. I will always love you both and look forward to the time and the magical times that we are all together again. In eternal Love of Wholeness, Good bye dear Friends – Randall
Date: 02 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, Thank you for sending me the amazing information about your mother’s transition. You and Jeff have done a beautiful job on her website and I had tears of joy as I read through all the information. Thank you for your time and for sharing so much of your life with the online community. You have shed so much light into my life and although we have never met in person, I feel a very strong kinship with you and would like you to know how appreciative I am for all the gifts you have given. WC
Date: 04 Sep 1998
We are overwhelmed and honored to be blessed with the deep account you have shared with us. Thank you for this. Love and Blessings, jm&cam
Date: 04 Sep 1998
Hi Wow! There is nothing that can be said at this point. You are truly amazing and you have a truly amazing life. I continue to be in awe of you. I love you! You always seem to be with me even though we have not had much time to share, you are a big piece of my life as try to figure out the business of living. May you be richly blessed as you do your path. We all are grateful that you are doing your path so faithfully. I hope we can catch up with each other soon! A WHOLE BUNCH OF LOVE AND KISSES AND HUGS AND LAUGHTER TO YOU AND JEFF AND THE KIDS!!!!!!!!! Elaine
Date: 05 Sep 1998
This is a beautiful tribute to your beautiful mother. Alison Hadley Colson-johnc@ieway.com
Date: 06 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, Thank you! Your experiences during your mom’s passing touched my heart! We all have only one earthly mom! Also I admire your courage throughout. Namaste, Einiyah
Date: 06 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, Your message about your mother is absolutely beautiful. Though I never met her, I feel I know a piece of her spirit through your words and your own presence in this world. May this be a time of strength, love, and beauty for you and your family. You are in my thoughts. love, Patty
Date: 06 Sep 1998
Today, September 6, is Merilyn’s 65th birthday. Happy Birthday Sister/Mom! I hope you are enjoying all this wonderful attention and love beaming your way. Thank you for all you were and all you are and all you are inspiring from wherever you are now. We are celebrating you today with prayers and good food,and maybe even a movie, one of your favorite things. I love you and I miss you! Carolyn
Date: 06 Sep 1998
Dear Grandma, I remember one time when you and grandpa took me camping about 5 years ago and we were getting ready to sleep. I was scared and couldn’t get to sleep so you told me to imagine a light go in my body that would protect me. It worked and I fell asleep. Thanks Grandma! I love you!, Ian
Date: 08 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, I’m staying in my space, breathing, and admiring your mother’s courage and joyful too that she has made her transition. Thank you for sharing this momentous experience with us. Mary K.
Date: 10 Sep 1998
Carolyn.. You have been in my thoughts and prayers…thank you for all you have shared through this process…I look forward to seeing you sometime in the near future. Love and Blessings, Patty L.
Date: 10 Sep 1998
Though I had’t seen Merilyn or Bob for a number of years, I can not forget the warmth and joy that they always exuded. Thank you for sharing the story of her passing. I would have expected nothing less from so sweet a soul. Bill Christensen Radiance
Date: 11 Sep 1998
My Dear Priestess Sister, Your miracle story about the water nourishing the dragon reminded me of the miracle that happened after Carl died….no-one else saw it but the women who was taking care of my house while I was away .
Carl died Nov 1, 1995 of cancer. At our wedding ceremony on December 31, 1993 our minister friend Susan gave us each a white rose as our first gift as a married couple. we then exchanged our roses as our first gift to each other. We promised to, throughout our marriage, give each other a white rose when words could not express our love. So after he died and I made the arrangements at the funeral home for the cremation, I bought a white rose and took it home and put it on the bedside table with his reading glasses, a crossword puzzle and a pen. Ten days later I went from home (Arkansas – he’d died 3 weeks after we got to our “dream farm”) to Los Angeles to have his memorial (450 people). I returned on the 17th of November and walked upstairs to the bedroom. I was stunned to see the rose looking as fresh as the day it did when he died. It had not dropped a single petal. The next morning I awoke to see it completely collapsed with all the petals strewn on the table. His way of telling me how much he loved me….without any words…Love to you, Damaris
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Dear Priestess Sister Carolyn, Thank you for always sharing your experiences. You are truly loved and admired. Much love, Priestess Donna
Date: 14 Sep 1998
I am sorry to hear that your Mom passed away so suddenly…..after reading through the memorial you created, I feel it was an incredible blessing. What an amazing story about the miracle of the statue……I cried throughout, sharing your joy and sorrow….
I am now in my Mother’s home with my sister taking care of her full time. We share the responsibilities and have healed many old wounds in the process. My Mom is deteriorating more and more each day and I pray she does not suffer much longer. We are surrounded by Divine grace – it fills me from a source deep within, for I know I am not doing this on my own….. Reading your memorial website for your Mother really touched me…..it sounds like you shared a wonderful relationship with her and many wonderful experiences. Those are gifts we take with us….that will soothe those painful lonely moments. My Mom is a very special soul, she is the most giving, loving woman I know and I am proud to be her daughter and honored to take this journey to the portal with her. What a special gift……Diana
Date: 16 Sep 1998
Hello, my dear! It is with such great joy and sadness I read of your mom’s passing. I was travelling when your email was posted, and it’s taken me this long to get back to you in 3D, insofar as I have been visiting Portland, Ore. to get my daughter situated there to establish residency for the U. of O. next year. Beautiful land up there. Hot and dry – 102 degrees!
Anyway, I am just amazed at how you can put so much down to share with others of your ordeal. You have such a gift of style … in all things. Beauty, grace, and what a WRITER! Your mom was very special to me, even though we spent those few hours together in Flagstaff. I felt a real kinship with her, and know now that if anyone could pull off this conscious dying stuff, it would be her. What a light!
Hope you and Jeff and the kids are ok, and that you are resting enough. Much love to you and your family. I would love to visit sometime soon. Take care of yourself! Kenyon
Date: 21 Sep 1998
I appreciate your sharing of your life. It is the process of life that bring tears to our eyes, and laughter in our hearts. To pick tid bit of knowledge from those all around, to feel love from thoes with out making a sound. Sparks are made silent in a moment or less and to be remembered by friends is quite simply the best. And as for the passing, its never a good time but to go in peace and love is the best kind. Take care and thank you for your astro happenings.
Date: 24 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, Thank You! Thanks to your Mom! Thanks to Kuan Yin! Mary
Date: 24 Sep 1998
Today is my birthday. Thank you, Mom, for giving me life on this day 41 years ago. I have loved you with all my heart ever since that day, in spite of our differences, no matter how much we didn’t have in common, there was always this extremely strong bond of love between us. I know you waited to leave until I could be there to say good-bye. I only wish I could have gotten there when we could both have spoken. Seeing you as you were when I got there was the most difficult thing I have ever had to go through, I know you are in a better place, and I’m so glad that you are out of that cancer-ridden body that must have been in so very much pain…… but I’m missing you so very much…… it wasn’t supposed to be this way. I’m closing this with words from Cousin Bob: “Mom’s don’t let go. Their daughters keep them alive in the way they live and the way they choose. In the way they hold their head, or hand, or the way they stand impatient, waiting in line or for the phone to ring……” Please, Mom, don’t ever let go of me! Love Always and Forever, Your baby daughter, Sharon
Date: 30 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you………… That’s all I know to say at this moment, my heart speaks better at these times. I am holding you and your mom dear in my heart. blessings, Noell
Date: 30 Sep 1998
Carolyn — I’m at a loss for what to say (so it’s only logical that I write to you and say that, right? <laugh>)…
Your updates have been amazing through this whole phase. My remaining grandparents are getting very frail and suffering from frequent illnesses, and I know they won’t be here too much longer. This will be the first loss of someone this close to me, and I’ve been wondering how it will affect me. I hope to gain from it more than lose, and you’ve really been remarkable as an example of how it can be. Thank you Will
Date: 30 Sep 1998
Dear Carolyn, Just wanted to send you and your family blessings and love. I agree that the death proces is a huge teacher and initiator for all who are touched by it. I will continue to hold you and yours in my prayers, sending you pure intent for smooth transitions and continued breakthrough. May we all leap through the portals! In Wholeness, Gabriela
Date: 05 Oct 1998
~ i personally did not know Merilyn ~ being new to this circle ~ but i am so glad to know that she was in good care ~ my thoughts are with Merilyn and her family ~ jinjy ~
Date: 19 Oct 1998
DEAR CAROLYN AND JEFFERY BRENT, WE JUST WANT YOU AND YOURS TO KNOW HOW DEEPLY WE FEEL FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER. HOWEVER, WE KNOW SHE IS AT PEACE WITH HER SOULMATE AND HUSBAND. AND THEY TOGETHER WILL LIVE ON WITHOUT ANY SORT OF RESTRICTIONS. THEY WILL FLY TOGETHER TO A PLACE WHERE THEY FEEL NO PAIN. BUT ONLY LOVE, GOOD HEALTH AND A SENSE OF WELL-BEING THAT NEVER LEAVES THEM. ONE DAY, ALL OF US WILL MET UP AT ONE PACE OR ANOTHER AND LOVE WILL SURROUND THE WORLD. PLEASE KEEP OUR THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS CLOSE TO YOUR HEARTS AND HELP YOU THROUGH THESE TIMES OF NEED. SHE WAS CLOSE TO OURS AS WELL.. ROBERT, DARLIE AND LORI HAMILTON 10/19/98
Date: 20 Oct 1998
Dear Merilyn and Bob: Maharishi has said that one way to help those who have left their physical presence evolve more quickly is to have positive thoughts about them. Carolyn and Jeff have done a magnificent job in ensuring that your evolution is on the fast track. Undoubtedly you’re experiencing this!!! I do want to take the opportunity to thank you and Bob again for inviting me to stay at your home in Fairfield during those big World Peace assemblies. I remember how your house was full of family members and friends – truly delightful times. Love, Bob Appin
Date: 23 Oct 1998
We had the pleasure of attending high school and graduating with Merilyn from Edinburgh High School, Edinburgh, Indiana in 1951. Lost track of her and started searching for her in 1976 for our 25th Reunion. Took me 11 years and finally realized she graduated from Stephens College. In those days Social Security numbers weren’t required for students or their parents. Her dad was stationed at Camp Atterbury, Indiana.
She answered my letter and we continued writing and exchanging ideas, experiences and dreams for the last several years. I received the last letter from her in February, 1998 and was shocked to receive the news of her passing. It is a beautiful tribute to read about her on the Internet. Our thoughts and blessings are with the family and all her many friends. Thank you for all the tributes. I have read all the letters received from Merilyn since 1987 and feel like I know the family well. God Bless You All. Merilyn was an exceptional individual. Anna Mae and Charles Cox, Greenwood, Indiana; JoAnn and Don Pruitt, Edinburgh, Indiana.
Date: 30 Oct 1998
Carolyn, My thoughts are with you and Jeff. After going through this when my dad died I know what you are experiencing and no words can make it better. Just be strong for you and your family. Sincerely, Bill Reid
Date: 30 Oct 1998
Thank you for sharing. Was very sorry to hear about both deaths!! I have fond memories of both “Grammy and Grandpa”. Dawn (Cunningham) Berry
Date: 01 Nov 1998
blessings, love daleena dancer, @—)—-
Date: 11 Nov 1998
Merilyn and I were buddies on a course in Switzerland 1977-1978. Though I have only seen her once since, have kept in touch at Christmas and always enjoyed learning of her new experiences and achievements. I always felt she was special. Its a sad to know that she has moved on but know that she is in a better place. Thank you, sharing this beautiful web site, it is a lovely tribute to your mother. I will always have wonderful memories of your mother. My best thoughts go to you and your family. Sincerely, Jan Agnew
Date: 27 Nov 1998
Grandma Merilyn, you are missed and thought of often. Vicki W.
Date: 14 Dec 1998
Merilyn was a very sensitive and gentle spirit. We enjoyed loving each other. We had good times together where ever we were and those good times always included much praise and admiration of all of her kids. We’ll miss her. Love, Wally and Caroline
Date: 15 Dec 1998
Our hearts hold space with yours at this time. Please know that you have a universe of support and blessings on your side. I feel fortunate to have met your mom, and she was fortunate to have had you in her life. What a beautiful and enlightened way to light her path into her new soul assignment. I love you Caroleeeeeen. Sincerely, Jeanine Orci and family
Date: 15 Dec 1998
Our hearts hold space with yours at this time. Please know that you have a universe of support and blessings on your side. I feel fortunate to have met your mom, and she was fortunate to have had you in her life. What a beautiful and enlightened way to light her path into her new soul assignment. I love you Caroleeeeeen. Sincerely, Jeanine Orci and family
Date: 16 Jan 1999
May You and Yours always be in my prayers and may Life be wounderfull to you and yours*^..^* Lady Leila
Date: 08 Mar 1999
I deeply appreciated your mother/sister website. I was moved to tears and felt more personal healing thru aligning with the gorgeous goddess currents present in your message. Know the healing goes beyond me and into our world. I continue to grow in respect for your “work” and in gratitude for our vibrational connecton. With Love,LR
Date: 05 Apr 1999
Hi Mom, It seems a good time to express my gratitude for you and the lineage I carry and have passed on to my children, your grandchildren. Today as I was walking Jeremy to school (he is eight) he said to me, “Do you know what I have noticed?” I asked him what a and he said, “I don’t know if this is true or not, but I have noticed that every person alive seems to have a mission.” I told him I thought that was also true and then I asked him what he thought his mission was.
He responded immediately and very matter of factly , “To make the world perfect.” This is obviously something he has been thinking about for awhile. My first response was “Wow!!! That’s a big mission.” In his very practical and mater of fact way, Jeremy’s response was, “Yup, that’s why I think I’ll have to grow bigger and be older, like in my 20’s before I can really make the world perfect.” I told him he already makes my world perfect.
Jeremy was wondering about my life mission, and I said, “I think I have been accomplishing my mission in stages and one of them was to have you and your brothers and sister. Another one is to help people with the work I do figure out their own mission whatever that might look like.” Jeremy thought that was cool.
Upon further reflection I see how Jeremy is already accomplishing his mission by being in my life, because his loving, thoughtful, joyful presence helps to make my world perfect. And I am thinking about your life mission Mom. Because of you, I am here and because of me Jeremy, Ryan, Ian, and Jenna are here. The lineage continues and we have each played our part. Jeremy and I talked about how it is our belief that creates our reality. He so relates to his magical leprechaun nature, and is still working on his magical skills, though he now believes he will have to grow bigger and more powerful for them to really work in the world. I see how powerfully his love and presence all ready works magic in this world.
Yesterday it snowed in Tucson on Easter Sunday, April 4, 1999. Jeremy has been asking to see it snow and play in the snow all winter. Now, just how magical is this kid? He was ecstatic and full of mischievous joy when he and his brothers and sister were all in the backyard throwing snowballs at each other. For me, it was purely magical to awaken and see huge snow flakes and snow already sticking to the ground.
In my 20 years of living here the only other snow I have seen that stuck to the ground was on Christmas day in 1987, when Tucson received 4 inches of snow. You and Bob were visiting us and we drove through the desert and took pictures of the snow on the cactus. Ryan (age 5 then), Ian and Jenna (age 2 at that time) made a dwarf sized snowman in the back yard.
There is something so pure and cleansing about snow and synchronistically these two events have happened on high holy days. So, I wonder if Jeremy’s grandma may have been listening to his wish for snow and maybe sent him, and us all, a message of love on Easter?
If so I know he is most grateful. I know Jeremy and Ryan Ian and Jenna have inherited there grandmother’s magical talents, carried through the family line and they are encouraged to creatively express them! Jeremy is reminding us today that what we percieve and believe is what we experience and if we believe our world is perfect….then it is! I am enjoying my perfect world today and grateful for my life and the opportunity to experience the magic. We love you and miss you both!!!! Carolyn
Date: 31 May 1999
Memorial Day. Memories…. I choose to remember only the good things, of which there were many. It breaks my heart that there will be no more to add to the list, when there should have been so much more time for such things. They say “life is too short” and they are so right. Memorial Day has never been more than an extra day off, before. Now it means remembering someone very dear to me, and missing them more than words can say. I love you….. now and always….. Sharon
Date: 17 Jun 1999
Merilyn, Magdalene of Sacred Sexuality, Priestess of Celestial Earth…. We gather in the Standing Stones at Faywood during the Juno Full Moon, honoring the Goddess, honoring the Divine Mother, honoring the Magdalene, and honoring the lineage your ashes and bones have woven into the circle of stones. It is said it is written in stone and bone. From this circle of stone and bone seven women will emerge as Magdalene’s expanding this growing energy matrix in part by invoking Juno Moneta Goddess of Abundance and Sacred Union, and invoking our ancestral lineage symbolized by your ashes and bones. Each women will invoke her Magdalene essence and bring her gifts to Celestial Earth and to the ancestral lineage. Indeed this is a sacred moment and we know your presence will guide us in fully anchoring this energy field. With Love and Gratitude we are the emerging Moneta Magdalenes.
Date: 09 Aug 1999
I would like to take this opportunity to honor Merilyn and to honor my dearest friend and wife of thirty-three years, Candy. She too made her transition consciously.
Date: 18 Aug 1999
It has been a lonely year without you, Mom. I love and miss you very much. Love Always, Sharon
Date: 18 Aug 1999
Remembering Merilyn on the 1 year anniversary of her death is this poem she wrote for Robert Massey in January, 1989
Love’s Promise
Love forms myriads of shapes and sizes— for of it is everything made.
My heart is in the shape of love.
It remembers your touch, your soft kisses, revitalizing, warm embrace.
Love flows joyfully from my heart To touch the shape of love there in you, Self to Self, loving each moment of life.
There is no other time than now.
You are not here, yet you are ever here, as only the present exists.
Memory keeps you in my heart.
You’re forever present, dearest One, in the form of almighty Divine Love.
Date: 01 Jan 2000
Dear Carolyn, What a beautiful memorial you have created for Merilyn! I am deeply touched by your love and memories. And Merilyn, thank you too for your sharing some of your blessed life with us through your pictures and stories. MC
Date: 09 May 2000
Dreaming my dreams into reality is the gift I bring you this Mother’s Day week. Many already have come into fruition, many are manifesting at this time, and more are finding there way into my awareness for further dreaming and anchoring at this blessed time of the Celestial Sky Council convening to accelerate our experience of the sacred union of Heaven and Earth.
I know you are my dreaming ally and together we are fulfilling our divine destiny. I am grateful for our shared vision and commitment, fulfilling our part in co-creating the Golden Age of Celestial Earth. Thank you for watching over me and helping to guide my way. I love you Mom, and I am thinking about you this Mother’s Day and every day. Carolyn
All dreams spin out from the same web…Some dreams remind us to be dreamers, to remember that we are children of this Earth, and She is longing for our dreams and caring. She dreams us as we dream Her: we must care for Her as She cares for us. From Dreamweaving A Journal for Dreamers By Mary Sojourner
Date: 05 Jun 2000
Dear Merilyn, What a wonderful example you have given us of the principle “As you live, so shall you die.” You lived a fully conscious life and died a fully conscious death, a goal to which we all should aspire. May you receive this message sent with with my conscious act of appreciation and charged with the subtle energy (life force) that still connects us. In love and light, Paul Von Ward, author of Soalrian Legacy: Metascience & A New Renaisance
Date: 03 Sep 2000
What a beautiful, sensitive and moving tribute. I felt totally involved and aware of your presence and your mother’s. I also felt a kindred soul connect with you both. Many of the same interests I spose. Thank you. Linda at grnthumb@ipa.net
Date: 24 Dec 2000
Merry Christmas Mom! I am remembering all the Christmas celebrations we shared at my house with little ones and as they grew, we grew with them. This past year has brought so many remarkable changes in all of them and in me. I know you are with me and I know you are speaking to me in many ways .
Just a week ago I cut myself (a deep, bleeder) on the Kwan Yin statue that began dripping at the cremation \ ceremony. I knew it was a message from you and it took me a while to figure it out, but the clues kept presenting themselves and I got it when I walked into the grove where we began and completed the Magdalene initiation process. At our Magdalene Emergence ceremony I remembered you hitting your head, hard on one of the sacred Ironwood trees.
A chunk of the tree was lodged in your scalp. Nervously I somehow managed to extract the wood along with a lot of blood that spilled onto your beautiful white skirt. Bonnie joined Beth in taking you to Beth’s house so you could wash the blood out of your white dress. Somehow you got through the ceremony and I remember wondering what it meant at the time. Little did I know that your blood sacrifice then would become a real life sacrifice a year and a half later, as you left this Earth plane, creating a Magdalene link on the other side of the veil.
The other day we were returning to the grove to initiate a new Magdalene Sister. I had been puzzling over the significance of the cut I received the day before, while I was dusting Kwan Yin and preparing to receive our New Magdalene sister for a Shamanic Astrology reading.
Not until I walked into the grove did I suddenly, like a flash of light, I get it. I knew this was a clear message from you indicating your clear connection to the on-going Magdalene process, to each of us, and to the new initiate. Our new intiate confirmed that in her healing modality the thumb is related to the head. Thank you for reminding me of the potency of the link we share even when I forget. Recently, I have been feeling very held and nurtured by the great mother and I know you are speaking to me through her. I miss my Earthly Mom and I am grateful we are still connected in amazing ways. I love you, Mom…Carolyn
Date: 24 Dec 2000
Dear Carolyn, It is a Joy of Remembering to come across these pictures on Christmas Eve…Your Mom was/is a bright light in my own Priestess Circle. Love, Joan-Anne
Date: 31 Dec 2000
Dearest Carolyn, I am not one to go onto websites and leave messages but the beautiful story about your Sister Mother has touched me deeply. I, too, am about to experience the transition of a loved one, my Grandmother. However, it appears there is feared attached to her going home. She believes she will not be supported, in and when she crosses. I have been praying for her, as I cannot be with her physically. I am going to print off the pray that you have so graciously given to those who visit your Mom’s story. I believe it may assist in releasing this fear. I hope sometime we may have an opportunity to chat. I have recently connected with a lifetime in Egypt as a priestess. Thank you for your beauty. In Love and Light, Maurette
Date: 11 Jan 2001
Hello family of Merilyn, I am not even sure how I ended up here. But then again maybe I am. My mother, Beverly Ann Davis, was born Sept 30th 1935 and died April 8th 1999. Her death was caused by cancer as well ( and we treated her alternatively in Mexico as too, Juarez) I, her husband of 44 years, my sister and two brothers were with her during her transistion, that shared many similiarities to your mother’s. You have honored her well, and yet how can one ever feel they have paid enough homage to one so sweet and dear (and radical in such a soft and potent way)?
To thrive is the best way to honor my mother. A friend and teacher of mine poured me a sweat lodge 3 months after my mother’s passing. The story of that time too would take many paragraphs. Suffice to say, that at one point she was there, and with a hand outstreached I struggled with what to give her. I thought of so many things, but I already given her all the things I could think of. Then I settled on one. I gave my mom the promise that I would take care of myself. It was exactly the present she wanted. I know your mom would love the same.
Blessings and Blissings. I will put Marilyn in my prayers, and would love for you to send out some love and blessings to my mother on her journey. She too is an exquisite lady. Love D’Ann Davis, daughter of Beverly Ann Davis
PS Thank you for all the Tibetian Deathing Prayers. There is an excellent and tender documentary on The Tibetian Book of The Dead (of the same name) that you can get on video. The Tibetians Shamans really know the death process. I reocmmend it highly. Again thank you for this gift. The best to all those who Merilyn loved.
Date: 28 Jan 2001
Nice memorial Carolyn. You Mom resembles my sister who passed on last year at 62. There is even a greater resembalnce to my half sister Donna who is 38 and live in N. Cal. Charlie Sommer
Date: 31 May 2001
I’m not sure how I arrived at this memorial website but I think it was meant to be. My daughter Claudia was diagnosed with cancer the day before Mother’s Day, May/2000. She courageously fought this horrific disease for nine months. I was with her and cared for her every day weekly for the nine months and sometimes on the weekends when her husband would allow me to come. I thought she would beat the odds and so did she. Claudia died February 7, 2001. Claudia had two wonderful children, Sarah, 14 years and Noah, 11 years. Claudia’s husband Harold and I only tolerated each other. Minutes after my daughter’s death, Harold’s anger against me exploded and it has not gotten any better. Claudia and I were very close and I was always very close with her two children, my grandchildren. Harold is doing everything possible to keep me from the children. I am devastated. There is no healing for me. Not only have I lost my precious daughter, I have lost her children. My grief is unbearable. This website is a beautiful tribute to a woman, a mother, and a grandmother. I humbly ask all the good people who visit here, to please remember me in your prayers with the intention that with God’s divine assistance, I may find loving ways to help Harold overcome his hatred for me so that I can spend quality time with Sarah and Noah and help raise them in a warm, caring, and loving atmosphere the way their mother would want them raised. Thank you. CRAMBIENCE@aol.com
Date: 15 Jul 2001
Dear Carolyn and Family; Thank you for the beautiful message this website brought into my life. A friend has e-mailed me information from your site for a year or so now, but until today I didn’t look at the links. My mother passed over on June 4, 2001 from cancer, and I would like to share with you some of her transition story as well. Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer over ten years ago, when she was 70. She had one breast removed surgically, and then began a chemical treatment called Tomoxaphin.
She did poorly on this drug, and we (her children) encouraged her to look into some alternative routes. Part of her heritage is from the Cherokee people, and she began accumulating information on Native cures using herbs. With our help, she survived another eight or so years with no problems, several in the family are energy-workers, and all have an interest in alternative healing. She was rediagnosed about two and a half years ago; again with our help and her own personal resolve and determination, she survived until June. Her death process was the most beautiful and graceful event I have ever witnessed, clearly a birthing for her and an initiation of the highest order. She had been failing for several weeks, and as there are six children in the family, we were able to provide care for her at home, which was her wish. As she was less and less able to speak, and we could see she could no longer see us, we took to patting her hand or her face when we communicated with her, and she never failed to respond in some way.
The day before she left, a tiny bird landed on a feeder that is hooked onto the outside of the patio door in the room she was in, and tapped on the glass over and over, peering around the edge as though to see her on her bed. It did so several times, and several times she stopped breathing, each time we thought she was leaving. On the day that she passed, a Monday, the house was full of family talking and doing what we could to care for her and comfort her. You could tell she was enjoying the fussing we did around her and for her. As the day wore on, people began to leave for the evening, and she motioned to me about the time. (we had developed a kind of sign language over the weeks of no speech) I told her it was evening, and she audibly groaned, I knew she was dreading the night coming on where there would be long silences, and when she would have more problems breathing.
Around an hour later, we were sitting next to her bed, talking to her and each other, when she stopped breathing. Instinctively we all took a step back, as though she had been requesting her space. There was no struggle, and we could see her pulse in the side of her neck, as we waited to see if she would once again rally. After about three minutes, someone said, “We love you, Mom,” and she nodded her head yes. Then we all started saying, “Mom, go to the Light, follow the Light,” to which she nodded and began moving her lips as though she wanted to speak. A few more moments passed, and as her spirit gently left her body, I was aware of a soft light and almost a misty presence filling the room, and we all felt filled with love and comfort.
Our neice, who had been witnessing the event, signs and reads lips. She told us Mom responded to our encouragement to go to the Light by saying, “I’m there, I’m there”. We had her empty body cremated as well, and brought the ashes home in a granite urn with beautiful dogwood carving. Our final public memorial to her was held the following weekend, on a splendidly beautiful summer’s day, in her favorite place under the willow trees she and my dad planted next to her garden. As we shared our memories, love and appreciation for her life, a beautiful Monarch butterfly flitted among the mourners, finally lighting on our Dad’s shoulder. The special energy available on that day was undeniable, forces were present that were of an extremely high vibration. And the love! I have never before been so overwhelmed by the feelings of love present on that day. It was truly a bon voyage party for the wonderful mother and friend that she was to us all. And of course, she’s not gone!
Last weekend I felt so lonesome for her physical presence, as I had spoken on the phone to my sons and had some wonderful and exciting news to share about their lives. I automatically picked up the phone and began to dial Mom’s number, anxious to share the excitement. Suddenly I felt like someone had slapped me hard in the face as I realized I can’t talk to her on the phone anymore, after 35 years of doing so in the past. I began to cry, and lying on my bed sobbed my pain out into the cosmos at ‘losing’ my mother. Then there came a nudge to open my eyes and look.
As I did so, staring up at the ceiling in my bedroom, I was amazed to see 20 or 30 tiny dancing round colored lights. I turned my head to see what was reflecting, and on my window sill was a photograph of my three sons, the tiny colored lights dancing across their picture as well. I glanced around the room, nowhere else could I see any lights except across that photograph. Then I found the source for the reflection — one of my Mom’s beautiful crystal bracelets that she had given me! I got the message loud and clear!
I am so grateful for my mother’s life, and for the gifts she gave in her passing. I have no doubt that she was already in the next realm when she sent the message back to us — “I’m there, I’m there.” I am so thankful for the understanding her dying process has given me, the wisdom imparted by both her life and her death. Thank you for allowing me to share this message for her by way of your beautiful memorial to your own beloved mother. Thank you for your connection to the Goddess, and for being willing to share that with all. Your work is truly blessed. Glenna Rae Dietrich
Date: 20 Jul 2001
Hello, Carolyn, I feel as if I have journeyed to Mecca, experienced a Holy Pilgrimage having visited your site and taken part in the beautiful transition of your Mother. I experienced similar occurrences during and following the death of my Father. He has continued to inspire me and my children and grandchildren from the other side for the past years. We have had no one to really speak to about these things but each other. How delighted I am to know that there are others who know these things to be blessings and truths. I will visit your site to arrange for a reading very soon. May Kwan Yin continue to nourish you and yours and all of those on our Earth who need it. I have some prayers that I have been doing that seems to lift the world. It sounds like what you and your friend are doing. Can we talk more about this? Peace, Joy and understanding…Marcia
Date: 31 Jul 2001
Magic Happens! Thanks Mom! What are the odds that I would check into this site…it has been several weeks since I have been here…and just so happen to be visitor number 1956. I am not even sure why I felt called to bring up this site at this time and I find it amazing especially when considering it has been almost three years since we posted the site that I would actually visit the site when the number of visitors showing is 1956.
It is also synchronistic in that I had just shared the story with someone about how your computer had shown every single document and program with the date of 1956 the first time we turned it on after you died, and how I knew that was a message for me since I was born in 1956. I am grateful to know we are still in the magic of our shared connection and it is especially timely for me after being so close to another priestes sister’s death from Cancer this past month. I’ll just bet you and JanIs Garnet are delighting over this!!! Holding you both big with lots of love and gratitude, Carolyn
Date: 06 Sep 2001
and a beautiful angel gets its wings.. fly home and guide the way. thank you, -karen
Date: 11 Sep 2001
Merilyn’s story will stay with me forever. The miracle of the Kwan Yin statue reminds me of a smaller, but non the less important miracle in my own family. My cousin Helen passed in January 1995, also from cancer. We had talked about contact after her death and that the sign she would leave me would be the extinguishing of the flame of a candle at her funeral. This did not occur at that time, but four weeks later at her sons wedding ceremony a candle that was prominent in that service extinguished most unexpectedly. There was no way any breeze could have blown out that flame. I have always felt that this was a message from the other side, and what better time to deliver this message than on the joyous occasion of a wedding service commemorating the beginning of new family life. Thank you for your inspirational story. Terri
Date: 10 Nov 2001
I too, was sent today on a cyber pilgrimage to this blessed space about a woman and her wondrous journey through this life and beyond. May you, Merilyn, and your sweet Carolyn and the rest of your dear family know that this site is serving others as much as it serves you. As it should be….eh? love to you all from joni in Washington state
Date: 02 Jan 2002
An inspirational story! Thank you for sharing the Blessings of your relationship with your Mother. I found it personally very healing!
Date: 03 Mar 2002
Dear Sister Of Light, Thank you for sharing your journey of conscious death and your inspiring contribution to this dream process. I am overwhelmed by it’s beauty. Love and Light, Joyce Danley
Date: 19 Mar 2002
THANK YOU FOR SHARING. I HAVE BEEN DEALING WITH MY OWN MOTHER’S DEATH. HAVING SIMILAR EXPERIENCES WITH THOTH I TRUST SPIRIT DIRECTION CONTINUES FOR US BOTH. THE HOT SPRINGS PROPERTY KNOWN AS FALES NEAR BRIDGEPORT,CALIF. WHICH WE HAVE OWNED FOR SEVERAL YEARS REMAINS UNDEVELOPED. PERHAPS A STONE CEREMONY WILL NOW UNFOLD. BLESSINGS ON YOUR JOURNEY ! SUSAN
Date: 25 Jul 2002
Hello, I am known to my family as Frederick Hughes, although, soon I hope to be given permission to utilize my chosen name of Trill o’Quist in the role of a mute shaman. My heart and soul are with you and I feel your loss, it shows itself in the poetry of you words. I also share your loss, my mother ended her struggle against leukemia in 1973 when I was six years of age leaving myself, my father and five other siblings to try to come to terms with missing a dear loved one.
Being such a young person I was not permitted to either say goodbye to her or to attend her funeral, such was the decision at the time so in a sense I have been carrying a dark space in my heart since then. Your tribute to Merilyn was incredibly moving, I read the accounts in an online centre and had to leave the monitor quite a few times to allow myself to come to terms with my tears and to recover.
I’m not sure if it is relevant, but you touched upon an memory that still haunts me, when my Father returned from the hospital with the news of her passing, collecting the six of us together in the living room my Grandmother stood in the doorway. On hearing the news my Grandmother, who is a child of the Irish Tara, went to the kitchen and made a pot of strong tea (the first and only time I was told to drink a cup of tea) and it put me in mind of the dream your friend had concerning Kwan Yin, the Lotus Flower=the teapot and the vase=the cup and saucer, the steam being the flowers…a flash of insight reached me as well, it is not the statue of Kwan Yin that is crying, it is the dragon.
One of the more English ways of calming down after upsettin news is to have a cup of tea. Thank you for sharing the strength of what can only be a remarkable woman who has and will leave the afterglow of her touch in the memories of her loved ones..and thank you for helping me cry. Fred Hughes Lonewolf1966@lycos.co.u
Date: 24 Aug 2002
What beautiful and significant sharing… thank you, Lili Bartes August 26, 2002… Madison, Wisconsin
Date: 31 Aug 2002
LET ME START WITH THE STATEMENT THAT ,I’M MUCH BETTER WITH THE SPOKEN WORD AND NOT THE WRITTEN WORD,AND THIS BEING THE FACT IS YOUR BLESSING . AFTER VISITING YOUR WONDERFUL SIGHT OF PURE LOVE , THERE IS SOOOOOOO MUCH I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE WITH YOU . I WILL BRING IT TO THE STRONGEST POINT . THAT IS, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOUR STORY OF YOUR MOTHER HAS DONE FOR ME.
MY OWN DAYS AND THAT LAST EVENING WITH MY OWN MOTHER . FROM EYES STAYING OPEN ,TO ABOVE AND BELOW. AFTER READING YOUR STORY , IT HAS HELPED ME TO REALIZE SO MUCH MORE AND ALSO WHAT I DID EXPERINCE THAT EVENING ” WASN’T IN MY HEAD ” THAT IT REALLY WAS MY MOTHERS SPIRIT IN THE WIND THAT ENCIRCLED ME AS I WAS MOVED TO GO OUTSIDE AND ONCE ENCIRCLED WAS GIVEN A STAR , YET THIS WAS THE MORNIG STAR , WHICH IS THE NAME GIVEN TO MY MOTHER BY A SMALL CHILD 4 YEARS BEFORE HER TRANSITION .SO MANY GIFTS ARE ALWAYS GIVEN , IF WE ARE ONLY AWARE .
Date: 10 Sep 2002
Beyond The Distant Hill
Don’t cry for me though I am dead And all of life is lost, My soul has passed to paradise And death’s the journey’s cost.
The casket holds the life’s remains That the gentle earth receives, But when this world has lost a life Eternity conceives.
For when I heard the Shepherd call And knew my heart was still, I ran to follow after Him, Beyond the distant hill!
Kate Watkins Furman
May your Mom Rest In Peace…My Mama died on 12-9-98 I sure do miss her! ktf555@aol.com
Date: 03 Mar 2003
years ago l962-l966 I taught at Otero Junior College in LaJunta Colorado. We knew Marilyn and Elwayne very well. We partied together, Elwayne and I hunted togethr and we had some fine times at that little college. They were a fun couple. I just ran into this information on the internet. It was with great sorrow that we read of Marilyn’ demise. Gerald Insley
Date: 16 Mar 2003
My mother, Barbara Gail Deason, also passed in 1998 at age 60. It was also cancer that spread from the rectum. I would like to talk with you sometime. I intend to make a website about her. She is a saint. Truly, Barbara Kim Thigpen e-mail: kimthigpen@teksphere.com ps. she passed 12-04-98
Date: 13 May 2003
I hardly know what to say, yet feel compelled to put some words down, having just been so blessed with your sharing of your Mother’s life & transition. On May 23, it will be 10 years since my Mother passed over and she still lets me know that she is ‘paying attention’ to us. Often, for me, it is with the cooperation of a butterfly, in an ‘unusual’ way. Merilyn continues to be honored here on this site, and obviously through the lives of her descendants. Thank you for celebrating her gifts and yours by blessing all who read this. Hannah B. Wisconsin
Date: 24 Jan 2003
Dear Merilyn, Many blessings to you, your earth sisters and family. A beautiful message has gone out to many in celebration of your transition. You have inspired greater knowledge of the ways we can all embrace the pain of loss we individually and collectively experience, as well as knowing the connection is never severed allowing us to see there is far more to each of us which has been hidden too long . Thank you – thank you for the gifts your life and transition has presented!!! My dear Mother Mildred Doris Davey Marshall’s (*June 03, 1919 – July 3, 2002*) transition was also a profound gift of knowing. It would please me to know that you both are dancing the dance and chatting about your daughters here on Earth. In Lakéch, Dianne M. Marshall